What is reparenting therapy and how to know if you need it?

As a child, did you have a parent in your life who struggled or failed to give you unconditional love? Did you feel unsafe during your childhood? As an adult, do you now find relationships difficult? Do you struggle to trust others? If so, reparenting therapy may be a beneficial therapy tool for you. 

What is reparenting therapy?

Reparenting therapy is a process, which can help fulfill any needs that were not met during your childhood. It can also help you understand why they’re impacting your life now. It can help repair a lack of emotional support, affection, or security you experienced in childhood. It can also help repair a tendency for poor attachments.  Children learn a majority of behavior cues from their parents. When a child grows up with a parent who is unwilling or unable to properly guide them, the child will then develop misconceptions about certain needs. Reparenting therapy puts a trusted person in the role of a concerned parent. This can be done with yourself in the role of a parent and guided by a therapist. This is to make changes to the subconscious ideas and concepts you have. It can help you learn to better behave in relationships and form healthier attachments. It can also help you learn to set expectations and boundaries or better handle conflict. 

What are the four styles of reparenting therapy?

Childhood is the foundation our lives are built on. If cracks happen, it has an impact on life. Reparenting therapy can help heal those cracks.  The four styles of reparenting therapy are:
  • Regression — Regression is the most intensive form. It involves hospitalization with the client living in a “childlike” state with the therapist fully taking on the parent's identity. This style is surrounded by many ethical issues concerning healthy and appropriate boundaries.
  • Time-limited regression — Time-limited regression is less intensive but still structured in design. The client attends sessions with a therapist with a focus on a nurturing and supportive nature. This style of reparenting is used for clients with schizophrenia or CPTSD.
  • Spot reparenting — Spot reparenting is a less time-intensive process. It focuses on specific problematic experiences rather than rewriting the whole past childhood.
  • Self-reparenting — Self-reparenting is the most commonly used approach. It aligns with US ethical standards. It encourages the client to be the primary parent figure for themselves instead of the therapist. A therapist will then help guide you through the process.

How do you know if you need reparenting therapy?

Not having an obviously traumatic childhood doesn’t mean reparenting therapy can’t be beneficial for you. You may have a wounded inner child despite having had a very good childhood.  Signs you may have a wounded inner child:
  • You have a deep feeling something is wrong with you.
  • You’re a people pleaser.
  • You are a rebel or feel alive when in conflict.
  • You have hoarding tendencies. 
  • You can’t let go of possessions or people.
  • You have anxiety about new things.
  • You feel guilt over setting and holding boundaries.
  • You strive to be a super achiever or perfectionist.
  • You have a problem starting or finishing tasks.
  • You self-criticize, feel shame with expressing emotions, or are ashamed of your appearance.
  • You have a distrust of others. 
  • You avoid conflict.
  • You have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.
  • You suffer from a personality disorder, depression, or anger management issues.

How is reparenting therapy beneficial? 

Reparenting therapy allows you to examine how your childhood negatively impacts your view of yourself, your relationships, and your perceptions of the world. It gives you the power to rewrite and live a happier life.  7 benefits of reparenting therapy:
  • How to build healthy relationships.
  • How to create healthy boundaries.
  • How to be a better parent.
  • How to have better emotional regulation.
  • How to rediscover and increase life satisfaction.
  • How to build your confidence.
  • How to communicate better.

What do you learn in reparenting therapy?

Reparenting therapy helps you learn that patterns in life can change. It helps you focus on how you would like to change and how to achieve it. Change takes time and you should be patient with yourself.  For reparenting therapy to be effective, you have to be ready to heal. This can be difficult if you have not processed and confronted your childhood experiences. A therapist can help you with this.  Reparenting therapy helps you understand yourself more. It also helps you better understand others, including your parents, which can lead to a better expression of empathy. It does not place blame on your parents but allows you to work through your feelings.  Reparenting therapy can also help you learn:
  • To be self-compassionate.
  • To honor your feelings.
  • Cling to curiosity.
  • Be patient.
  • To have consistency.
  • To understand and remember why you are doing this.
  • To be self-disciplined.
  • To seek joy.
  • To release blame.

Your childhood trauma doesn’t have to own your life now

Life is complicated and messy. When it comes to mental health, we believe there’s no one-size-fits-all. At Halcyon Therapy Group, we understand just how important you and your unique situation and perspectives are. That’s why we offer a suite of services tailored specifically to you and your needs. You deserve better, and we are here to help. Book your complimentary consultation today and start living the life you always dreamed of. 

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